Clean Up on Aisle 6...

If you were to ask me if I've ever been traumatized by a trip to the grocery store, I would have told you, "Of course not!" That is, I would have told you that before today... As some of you may already know, I sat in the parking lot of my local Publix, eating some spring rolls and waiting for my toddler to wake up from her nap, earlier today. I sat there for quite some time, so by the time she awoke, I was ready to be done grocery shopping, and I hadn't even walked into the store yet. As we walked into Publix, the sight of the "car" cart made me shutter, but it filled my toddler with glee, "OHH!" Georgia squealed as she ran to the gigantic car cart. "Is it worth the fight??" I thought to myself. It wasn't. So I loaded her in it, she immediately started turning the wheel and giggling, "We might just make it through this, Georgie!" I told her and headed in. OH, I was wearing my newborn, in case you were wondering, I know you were! We all three make our way past the flowers, where I make a mental note to come back to them so I can have some fresh flowers on my dining room table, I love fresh flowers! As we pick up our norms, bananas, apples, strawberries, I start to feel the need to go to the bathroom..... "UGH! Not now! Hold it, Brittany, you can make it through the entire store without peeing your pants.... you got this.." I totally did not have it. After going down two and a half aisles, it was clear I was going to have to go to the bathroom. I walked over to the restrooms and parked my cart, took out the toddler and the diaper bag and opened up the "Family Restroom" door, to my surprise, a male employee was peeing! I quickly shut the door and muttered, kinda loud, "There's a reason there's a lock on the door..." and went into the regular Women's Restroom area. I was pleased to find there was nowhere to lay the baby so I had to basically undress (By the way, I was wearing overalls, yes, overalls, for the first time since like third grade....... yeah, not my best idea, but anyways) so I undress and pee, as I'm peeing and holding Lucy, Georgia, eating a sucker, is touching EVERYTHING and putting her hands in her mouth and touching the sucker and touching gross things in the bathroom, and then Lucy starts to cry and then starts to scream! I pull up what I can of my underwear and overalls and make my way out to the sink area, where there is a flat surface I can lay Lucy down. I take the changing pad out and lay it on the area and lay down Lucy and start to dress myself. Lucy is hungry... I leave one strap of my overalls hanging down, like the gangsta that I am, put my nursing cover on and pop Lucy on my boob. We all walk out (don't worry we used hand sanitizer!). I go down a couple aisles, holding Lucy and pushing the gigantic car cart. we grab a few things then Lucy is done eating. Luckily, she ended on the aisle with the pet beds..random.. so I laid a pet bed on top of our produce, laid Lucy in it, put my baby wrap on and off we went. by this time we had acquired fruit snacks, so Georgia is yelling, "NACK, MOMMY, NACK!" Of course I open the box, I'm not gonna fight it. Now, as we walk, I am having to bend over and pick up the trail of fruit snacks that Georgia is trying to leave across the store... I am also continually telling her, "Sit down, Georgia. Sit down. Sit down before you fall and bust your head open. Sit down or I will beat you. SIT DOWN CHILD!"

Finally, we make it to the yogurt and cheese, which marks the end of our journey, but remember, I wanted some fresh flowers, so back to the front of the store we go! I was determined. We pick some hydrangeas and head to the checkout. WE MADE IT!! AND EVERYONE IS ALIVE!! However, you might find my mind wandering around on its own, because I certainly lost it somewhere in the grocery store...

SO, Brittany, have you ever been traumatized by a trip to the grocery store?? Yes, Yes I have. The Unicorn Momma will one day return to the grocery store, until then, we will be dining out..

Thanks for reading! Hope you had at least one good laugh ;)