Better Late, Than Never

I mean, my life is basically run on that saying! SO because Lucy is 4 months old, I guess now is as good a time as any to post her birth story!! Let me start out by saying I haven't wanted to write this mostly because I am worried. The way I had Lucy is a way that some moms would have wanted their births to go or is a way that some moms would ridicule me for... I had Lucy completely and totally 100% natural. Like, we almost had her in the car...but that's for later... If you haven't already heard me tell you this story, it is because of the worry.. I never want anyone to regret the way they had their own babies, and I definitely don't want to be looked at funny because of the way I had mine. I do not judge. That is not my place, in anything! I really hate when someone asks me not to judge, even if it's just joking, because I can not judge!! I have never been one to do that. OKAY, off the soap box.. geeze, this is about Lucy!

It all started at 39 weeks... I started laboring after being on my feet all day in Eufaula. I was hurting pretty good but my contractions were never steady, so I went to bed that night and it all stopped. During the following week, I would have times where I would labor and then it would stop, labor and then stop...I was getting frustrated. When I went in for my doctor's appointment, I asked not to be checked. When I was constantly checked with Georgia, I often felt like a failure because I wasn't progressing...and her birth just goes to show that what I was dilated to didn't mean a thing.. So, 40 weeks came. I was a little discouraged, wishing we could see those sweet chubby cheeks already! I wanted so bad to just hold her already! We went to church that Sunday and my friend mentioned giving me a pressure point massage on my legs and feet using essential oils, I was like, "uh, yes please!" haha she came over later that evening and I got the best foot massage of my life! I started to have contractions that night, but again, nothing serious.. I went on about my day on Monday, running around with my mom, grabbing lunch, you know, just doing whatever because I wasn't about to have this baby any time soon... So that night I went to bed having contractions. They got a little more intense, so I decided to diffuse a little Clary Sage while I slept (Clary Sage is an oil that is said to help with contractions..) I started to get uncomfortable at about 3AM. I turned off my diffuser because, not gonna lie, I got a little scared haha! Well, at about 4, I went into the guest room where my mom was staying and told her how I was feeling. The contractions were still inconsistent and I was still talking and everything so she stayed up with me while I labored through a few more contractions in the living room. At one point I started to cry (THIS WAS ME ENTERING THE TRANSITION PHASE.. little did I know) I mean, I was sobbing. I started to feel bad for having another baby so close to Georgia, like it was unfair for her because we hadn't given her enough time with just us. I thought she would be mad because I was leaving and the next time she would see me I would have another baby! I worried that I wouldn't love Lucy right away because how could I love another baby as much as I loved Georgia?? It was an emotional time..At about 530 I texted my doula and said I basically needed an evaluation.. One of my doulas, the amazing Stephanie, was at my house at around 6. Georgia woke up, she ate some muffins for breakfast, my mom got ready, and got Georgia ready. Georgia wasn't happy about Stephanie touching me, so when we decided to try a different position to try and move Lucy around, off my back, Georgia ran to my head. She looked worried but I looked at her while I was having a contraction and just told her everything was going to be okay. I looked into her eyes and I just felt so much love for her! It was a beautiful moment I was able to have with her before my water broke and things got crazy.. and they did. I got up to go put on some clothes and gather the last of my things/ wake up Cade. I guess I never really had that sense of urgency so he kinda took his time getting ready.. it wasn't his fault! I was staying calm like I had been taught! The contractions started to really hurt at this point. It was time to GO! We all headed for the door, and got everything ready and waited for a little bit on Cade ;) haha He came out of the hall and we were all staring at him and were like, "LET'S GO!!" haha We piled in the car and dropped of Georgia at my friends house. I had a little guilty feeling as Sydney held her and we drove away... but this baby was coming so I kinda had to get over it. We drove as fast as we could, only ran one red light, and made it to the hospital. We walked in and headed straight for Labor and Delivery. I honestly was having an out of body experience, it was like my spirit couldn't handle it, so it just left my body and watched as I labored down the hallways and in the elevator. I don't remember how I felt, but I really can see my face! It is the weirdest thing, looking back on it now! When we got to Labor and Delivery, the nurses were asking, "Were we expecting you? When is your due date? Who is your doctor?" And I really wanted to say, "Does it look like I have time to answer your stupid questions??" But I didn't. Stephanie told them to get me a room now, unless they wanted to be delivering a baby in the hall.. They got me a room. I started taking off my clothes as soon as we walked in. My mom was putting my gown on me, I was just somewhere, not there, somewhere in thought or something... Like I said, seriously, out of body experience happening.. I crawled onto the bed where the nurses kept trying to poke at me and check me and this and that and I was starting to get scared. I was in and out of my body now, like moments that I was looking at the faces around me, and moments where I was watching myself. And then, the doctor came in. He asked me how I was, I said, "scared." I genuinely was. I had fear, fear of the unknown, of the pain, of the baby coming out and doing everything she needed to, fear that I would not be able to do it, fear that I was not enough to give birth to this human. My spirit rejoined my body. I was laying on my side, and I was pushing that baby out. I didn't really listen when the doulas were telling me about how the baby goes back in....soooo when that happened, it was not happening again. I wanted it out. It was as though I had entered some sort of "survival mode" and I didn't even think of Lucy as a baby, there was this thing in my body and it was hurting me and it needed to come out, now! So I pushed again (this was like the second push, because, no retracting...) and out came Lucy! I remember three things: Cade's hand on me, my mom pulling her leg up in sympathetic pain, and looking at Stephanie and her saying, "You can do this, Brittany." It was seriously amazing when they put our Lucy Lady on my chest!

I will have to say, I did feel like the devil was trying to come out of me. Like for reals, I made any one else giving birth that day want to cross their legs and leave because it sounded like someone was exercising the demons out of me. But at the end of the day, it really was a beautiful thing. I am so happy Lucy came into the world the way she did. I am also so happy Georgia came into the world the way she did, they are different, but they were both exactly what I wanted! As I look back, I realize that with each of pregnancies, I have taken on the spirit of the little one growing inside me. With Georgia, there was a definite Diva, but one that was sensitive to the world, one that wanted things a certain way, but also wanted others to be happy. With Lucy, I felt such a sweetness about her, like a softness and happiness, a spirit that was close to nature and close to things that were joyful. I have been so blessed to carry these two girls of mine to full term, to the time in which they were ready to make their grand entrance. I cannot believe I have two amazing daughters of God that I get to raise and watch learn and grow!! I hope you found love and happiness in Lucy's birth story! We truly love the little sweetie that she is! Thank you for reading!! XOXO