Friday, July 18, 2014

Why you gotta be so rude?!

Don't you know I'm human, too? These are lyrics to a song about a guy getting shut down by his girlfriend's dad when he asks for his permission to marry the daughter..... This doesn't have anything to do with this post, but the lyrics do. I have been seeing a lot of things pop up on my Facebook  feed about being skinny, like "thigh gaps are for flamingos" and "eat a cupcake" and just recently I watched a really cute music video that made skinny girls look dumb, like it's not okay to be a size two.  I could be over-sensitive, but I'm kind of hurt by all of this. I have never been confident with my body, like ever. I was always too skinny, my boobs too big for my scrawny body, and I've even been asked if I'm doing okay, like people are scared of my health because I'm skinny.... I was NOT born with curves. I have always been a skinny girl. I've always been very active in sports and outdoor activities. I've always loved eating, and there was a time in my life that I didn't look healthy, and was "over-weight" for my frame. I had really bad acne, was not eating healthy and felt bad, body and mind. In college, I joined a team that was part of the ROTC, and it challenged me to eat healthy and work out so I could be in shape to win competitions. I felt great! I could hike, I could run, I looked good, but I wasn't super confident in the way I looked. While I was deployed in 2012, I experinced bullying and harassment from my peers that made me feel like I was worthless, I felt like I was less than a human being, like I should do everyone a favor and just end it all. I was in a dark, scary and horrible place. I think back now and can't believe I had these thoughts, but I just had so much negativity around me. NOW, I am a momma, my body has been through a pregnancy, and you know what? You probably wouldn't be able to tell when you looked at me in the nude. And I'm happy about that! I eat what I want, and sometimes it's healthy food and sometimes it's not. I work out, not because I want to look like a Barbie, like songs and stupid meme's might say, but because I feel amazing when I am active! I know that I will get things done if I start my day with some sort of physical activity, even if it's vacuuming the living room because that's the only clean space at the time. I did it, and it motivates me to do more. I like to walk around Target. (I think I can safely call that cardio, since every time I walk to the clearance racks, my heart beats sooo fast and I normally make two to three laps around the ENTIRE store.) Some days, I'm still in my stretchy pants and big t-shirt, napping when Georgia naps, and writing a blog post when I should be folding laundry. All, I'm trying to say is, I feel good about me now. I can say that I love my body, I love the way I look, and I eat cupcakes.  I was born THIS way, just like some of us were born with curves. So listen, I'm human, too. I shouldn't feel bad about being "skinny". I love me, my husband loves me, my baby loves me, my family loves me, and my Heavenly Father and Savior love me. And really, in the end, that is all that matters. Whatever shape or size you are, you are beautiful! If you want more balance in your life, strive for that, not something society thinks you should have! Society doesn't know you, or your heart, only the people who matter do. XOXO

No comments:

Post a Comment