I think my heart might burst..

Life with Georgia has been anything but easy. I have argued with a one year old, I have thrown string cheese across the kitchen, I have completely lost my mind, but I wouldn't change a thing. I get frustrated sometimes when I can't communicate with her, and it makes me crazy when she throws a fit. I want to throw a fit. Georgia has a personality all her own and it is so much fun watching her grow and learn. Then sometimes, she reminds me that she is still my little baby, and that she needs me.

Today, as I was watching a webinar thing/cleaning the kitchen, Georgia ran around pouring out toys, standing in her little grocery cart, and dancing/singing to a Frozen wand that plays "Let It Go" that my mom brought her this weekend. She was busy, I was busy, and we were just doin our things. Then she started to get sleepy, she was rubbing her eyes and started to whine about wanting marshmallows, or how she says it, "lellows". I picked her up and sat her on top of my belly, housing little sister. As I swayed back and forth, I noticed her arms start to go limp and realized she had fallen asleep. This hasn't happened in a while so I, of course, took it all in and just kissed her little neck and rubbed her sweet little back. I had to document it so I snapped a picture with the self-timer on my phone... when I looked at myself holding my little girl propped up on top of my belly, I couldn't help but just about burst out in hysterical crying.. It hadn't yet completely hit me that Georgia would not be the only center of my universe once Lucy came into our lives. Georgia made me a momma. She changed me in more ways then I could have ever imagined, and she still continues to make me a better person every day. I didn't know how much I could love another human being until I had her, and now I will be sharing that love with another little baby. I've already started to love Lucy and her sweet little movements in my belly. She gets the hiccups and tries to come out through my belly button. In a moment, it just hit me, I will have two babies, two loves, two girls, two daughters... It was a feeling of excitement and worry and just everything all at once!

I am so grateful that God has given us these babies and I am so excited to meet the newest member of our family. I can't help but recognize our Heavenly Father's hand in our lives as we prepare to expand our family. I feel so blessed to be able to house this little baby, just as I carried Georgia. I already can't imagine life without either of these sweet girls. When Georgia was born, I really didn't think my heart could be filled with any more love, but now I know, it can, and it feels like my heart might burst, but it is the most amazing feeling I've ever had! I am excited for the adventures to come with our sweet little girls, and excited to see what life will bring us as we continue to expand our little family. :)

Thanks for reading! I hope you have a fantastically sparkly day filled with lots and lots of love :)

Some times I forget where I put my Unicorn Horn

This is going to just be a blabbing post, I just need to get some things off my chest, so here it is...

I swear that whenever I decide to change my life to be better, life poops on me. It's like, "oh, you want to have more happy days, well....actually, now your hormones are going to be allllll over the place, now your feelings are going to constantly be hurt, now you are going to have the spawn of satan as a child, and now you think everyone is against you and your husband probably hates you." Yes, that is how I have been feeling. I posted a week or so ago about how "I'm going to make Christ the center of my life.." and "happy thoughts and happy feelings" and the next day I woke up and was completely insane. I know I'm pregnant soooo I kinda have an excuse, but you'd think after a few days that it would wear off, or I'd just get over it...buuuuut I didn't.

I love life. I really do. I am one of those people who naturally wants to see the positives to everything, and give everyone and every situation the benefit of the doubt. I want it to be rainbows and butterflies and sparkly unicorns all the time, but life is not like that. Some days it is dark. Some days I just can't deal. And when I try to think, "Look at ALLL you have, Brittany! Look at your life!! Are you kidding me with your attitude right now?!?!" It just makes me more upset because I realize how ridiculous I am being. And for whatever reason, that makes me want to just give up on everything. I forget why I am doing things like making wreaths for people, or sharing those hippie oils, or being a mom, or being a wife... (those were in no particular order, lemme just put that out there hah) but anyways, from the littlest things to the biggest things, I lose sight of what it all means to me. I lose sight of what matters and I just shut off and think that life would be better if there just was no life.... I realize that escalated pretty quickly, but in my mind, that is going so fast I can hardly keep up, that is how it feels.

So, this "D-word"... I know that depression runs in my family, and I know that I have it. I hate the bad reputation that people with depression get and so I try reallllllllly hard to stay in denial about the chemical imbalance happening in my brain. I hate that it is used to describe occasional sadness and people often joke about taking anti-depressants to deal with life. It is something that I truly struggle with. I try to just say, "I'm in a funk", "It's just hormones", and things like that, but inside, I really feel hopeless, helpless, lonely and it is so incredibly dark at times, that I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't see past the darkness and realize the light that is constantly in my life. I inadvertantly push all these dark feelings on my family and I know that it is hard on them. For me, it's not about getting help. I know that I can be put on a pill and that these feelings will go away and I might have less days that I am in deep dark holes, but I don't want that. "WHAT?! You won't get help for this? It's such an easy solution!" I know, I know. I am working on it within myself though. I know that help is out there in that way, but I want to try things differently first. I, in no way, am looking for sympathy, in fact that would just make me feel like an idiot, so here's what I am going to tell you:

I am writing this out because it is making me feel better, maybe I should just write it in a journal, but maybe one of you is struggling too, and I want you to know that it is okay! I misplace my beautiful, sparkly unicorn horn every once in a while, and forget the awesome person that I really am, and that is okay. I forget that the things in this life are worth so much more than I could ever imagine and that there is a bigger and better plan for me. It doesn't take a, "chin-up, buttercup" to change that either, so if you know someone with depression, don't tell them that. Also, don't tell them to get over it... or that it will get better... that is not what we need to hear. The darkness that consumes my brain eats those words and vomits more darkness and anger. It isn't a logical thing. It isn't an emotional thing. It is a completely uncontrollable, unrealistic, unhappiness that has nothing to do with anything. Seriously. I just want you to know that, some times it looks like I might have it all together, and some days, I do...because sometimes I realize how awesome and sparkly and fun I am. But some times, I don't. Some times there is so much darkness eating at me that I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. I am a super sparkly unicorn with so much to offer in this world! I have so much to do with this life that I have been given! And so do you! I hope that, if you are struggling with depression of any kind, that you will know that you are not alone. And even if it isn't depression, if it is just that you are feeling completely helpless, just know, that You are a sparkly Unicorn (or fairy, or princess, or mermaid, or whatever mystical creature you want to be)! You are a fantastic, amazing and beautiful person! I'm not going to tell you that there will be better days, but I will tell you that I completely understand if you just want to eat a pizza all by yourself and lock yourself in your bathroom while you sit in the tub and watch every show and movie ever on netflix. I get it.

I hope you are having a wonderful April Fool's day! (As dark as this post was, I really do want the most happiness for everyone!!) Thank you all for reading! I love you and appreciate your love and support! EAT ALL THE PEANUT M&M'S AND DRINK ALLLL THE DIET COKES!!

My Heart, Christ's Home

Hello everyone! This morning I went to PWOC which is a group for women that is focused on Christ and becoming a more Christian woman. I have been taking this study called, "Becoming a Woman of Prayer" and have been loving it! It talks about having more intentional prayer with our Heavenly Father and Savior, and I have really enjoyed it. I wanted to talk about the program that the group put on today though. It was really inspiring for me. I feel that as I get older, I want more and more to become more like Christ, and really let Him into my life. I have always been religious and have always recognized the significance of living a Christ Led life, but I haven't really done anything about it. Like, maybe the small things I'm doing are enough... but in reality, it's not. There are so many missed opportunities throughout my day that I could really dedicate to my Savior and doing the things HE would have me do. This program today talked about letting Christ into our "home" and how would we feel as He entered each room and as He lived with us daily. Would I feel embarrassed by the books that I read, the movies that I had in my collection, the music playing, the time I spent on the computer...pinterest... the little things that I have "hidden", or the work (or lack thereof) that I am doing for Him? It really made me think about the time I spend during a day and what time I am actually spending doing the Lord's will. How much am I doing that is led by self-satisfaction or by bad habits or whatever the case may be? What things do I "keep hidden" from the Lord, that I do not give it ALL to Him?

I have really been trying to be more open to the promptings of my Savior and as I do so, I feel that I am happier and more fulfilled. I see the opportunities He gives me and now I need to work. I love that we can go to Him for anything because, even when we think He doesn't know what is going on, He really does, and He truly cares. On Sunday, I was reminded of the pain and suffering Jesus Christ went through in the Garden of Gethsemane. How he bled from EVERY pore, and was in such pain and agony, all so I could make my own choices. All so I could choose to follow Him or choose to do my own thing. (And when I choose to do my own thing, how quickly I am reminded that I need Him, and He is there) He suffered all that because He cares. I was also reminded of our Heavenly Father, and what it must have been like to watch His Beloved Son suffer that pain and not just remove it from Him! That again shows the love of our Heavenly Father and that as much as He wants to take away those times of trial, we need them, and like every good parent, He allows us to have those trials so that we can come out of them stronger. I feel that now I really need to go to work. I really need to give it ALL to Him and intentionally use my day to glorify my Heavenly Father and my Savior.

I believe there are so many ways we can do this, and some ways that I am going to try is one of the hardest things for me, and that is setting aside time to read my scriptures! How can my spiritual self be fed if I am not "feasting" on His words?? Another thing that I have already started working on is having more intentional prayer and conversation with God and Christ. How can I really be doing the things the Lord would have me do, if I don't even recognize His voice?? I have started to listen to more uplifting music when I am doing things like cleaning the house or driving because when I do, I notice a change of pace in my home. It goes from chaos to more calm and more peaceful. It has been a good time for me to really listen to the words, reflect on them and when I sing them, I feel like I am closer to my Savior. When I am closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I am more able to control my attitude, how I react when something annoying or bad happens, and how I treat my husband and my babies. Maybe as I get older I start to see the potential I have and want to live up to that potential. Like one of the primary songs from church says, "I want to be the BEST I can, to live with God again.." I truly want to be the best I can. I want Christ to come into my heart AND home and feel comfortable dwelling there, knowing that my life is based on His teachings and His example.

Thank you for reading! I know this post was more spiritually glittered than my others have been, but I am just having those thoughts like, "What am I really doing with my day-to-day life? What am I really allowing into my life? How am I trying to be a better person, a better wife and a better mother?" SO all the things I have been focused on, that have really become my passions, have really started to help me become more self-aware and more intentional every day. I hope you have a fabulous day!! Thanks again!! :)

DIY Unicorn Poop (Essential Oil Glittered Play Dough)

Good Morning!! I have been on Pinterest like a mad woman, trying to find everyday uses for my essential oils, when I stumbled upon THIS recipe I was super excited to make it! It is a simple salt dough recipe or whatever, but because I am Brittany, I can't just do what the recipe says... I have to make it my own.... SO here is my version of this play dough recipe, that I feel is rightfully named "Unicorn Poop".

I found these super cute little glass jars at Hobby Lobby (that happened to be 1/2 off when I got them...woot!) I think they are just like the little Ball mason jars used for jam and things like that, but they are cute little storage containers for my new concoctions of things (like play dough!)

For my recipe, I cut the original into fourths (?) so it would fit into the little jars:
1/4 C All Purpose Flour
2 Tbsp Salt
1/2 tsp Cream of Tartar
1/4 C Water
A little bit of Coconut Oil (like the original recipe, any oil would do, I just wanted to use coconut)
Food Coloring
ANNNND Essential Oils

Now, I just followed the recipe, mixing the flour, salt and cream of tartar in a medium sauce pan until combined, then add water, oil, and food coloring and mix until smooth.

Turn on stove to MEDIUM LOW (it will come together quick) and mix until it looks something like this:

Remove from heat and let cool for a few minutes... I am bad about this, so I cleaned up while I impatiently waited haha.. Then you can add the GLITTER!!! I just dumped a bunch into the pan.. you might think, isn't that a bit excessive?? buuuttt I don't really know what that word means... so, no, it's not.

I kneaded in the glitter, then added the essential oils to the dough (about 5-6 drops) and kneaded them in... and there you have it- UNICORN POOP!!! (It actually made me think of bait for fish hah)

I hope you enjoy making your very own Unicorn Poop! The blog I tagged in this post, listed her favorite essential oils and what they are good for (like lavender is good for relaxing...etc) I enjoy playing with our lavender scented Unicorn Poop, because as it warms up, I can smell the lavender and it IS relaxing, like a stress ball that is super glittery! Also, I added a little bitty bit of coconut oil before I added the glitter, just because it was a little dryer than I liked :) GOOD LUCK and have fun playing with your Unicorn Poop!! If you have any questions, let me know! Thank you for reading! HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!!! :)

Oily Unicorn

Oh my goodness, I have been sucked in! No, no, I'm kidding, I have just found an awesome product that I am excited to have incorporated into my daily life! I haven't been using essential oils long, only about a week, but I am so pumped to put them to work in my home. I have been doing A LOT of research on different ways to use them and how to make them practical for everyday use in my home. SO, I figured I would kinda answer a few questions about Why I have decided to sell doTerra oils, and what I hope to gain from this experience...

Why doTerra? Well, really the reason for choosing this brand is because it was the one introduced to me. I know Young Living is another big brand, and there are several others that are kinda this same thing..(multi-level marketing)... From my understanding, doTerra is a great brand with 100% natural oils and they have a positive focus on natural living.

Why sell oils? Honestly, I just want to have fun classes and I thought, welllll, if I'm going to have a class, and someone wants to buy some oils, then why not earn a little commission? And if it helps out my friend, then, why not?! I couldn't really think of a reason why not, so that's pretty much why I decided to do this. Also, this gives me a reason to clean my house (and keep it clean) in case I want to have a class or have someone over to learn more about oils, it would be nice to welcome people into a clean home haha! It gives me a reason to have all my friends over!! I LOVE PEOPLE!! Especially when we can learn cool things to do to live more naturally and use more natural products in our home! This opportunity will keep me busy. I am finding that when I have a few things on my plate at a time, I am so much more efficient in daily life! Things actually get done when I have more things to do...as crazy at that seems! haha! I have my first class Monday night, so I will see how that goes, and see how long this little experience actually lasts ;)

What am I hoping to gain from this? I am NOT trying to supplement income or anything like that. I do not hope to make thousands of dollars a month. I hope to gain a better knowledge of essential oils and how they can support a healthy lifestyle. I want to know how to better care for my family and my body with the help of oils. I want to have more knowledge of how to use them, practically, in my daily life--cleaning supplies, beauty supplies, AND preventing things like the common cold... I am also just looking to gain more self-confidence, being in these sorts of situations keeps me on my toes and makes me feel like a better "me".

I am super excited for this little venture! I am excited to meet new people, form new friendships and help others to learn along with me, the benefits of using these hippie oils. My husband is already making fun of me, calling my mixing of oils, witch-craft and potions haha! I love that man, and I am happy that he is supportive, even if he does give me a hard time. Thank you so much for reading!! :) HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!

Call Me Crazy

Hello Everyone! It has been quite a while since I blogged, and that is because, I did not like the name of my blog... I know, I'm weird, but I didn't like it, so I wouldn't write. That wasn't working for me because, I was like, "Brittany, you should write in your blog.." like EVERY DAY. That got annoying after a while, so I have finally come up with a new name, and I think it is totally perfect! :) Hopefully this will motivate me to write more often. I know you all are just aching to hear all my thoughts and feelings, so I will try and be consistent. ;)

I really don't know what it is, I just feel like I need to tell everyone what is on my mind, ALL the time... I just have so many thoughts and feelings!!! I should probably just keep a diary, but where's the fun in that, right?! Anyways, I thought I'd start out my blog posting with a little confession... So, normally I don't give into all the "self-help" type programs, and I definitely don't like the pyramid-schemey things, but wouldn't you know, I have started on both of those things this year! AND it's only the end of February!! That's right, I started this program called Dressing Your Truth, and I started using doTerra oils. Last year I was really confused about who I was, what did I really want in life, and what was I really doing?? My friend introduced me to Dressing Your Truth, and when I say it changed my life, I really mean it. It gave me that sense of direction I was looking for, it helped me to embrace who I really am. I'm not saying it happened over night, because it didn't, and I still have days that I fight with what I used to think and this new way of thinking. This program has given me the confidence I feel like I have been missing for such a long time. At the end of the day, I like who I am, and most importantly I UNDERSTAND who I am, it doesn't hurt that I look super cute, and know what colors look best on me...

Okay, so this whole doTerra thing.... Now, this one got me into trouble with my husband... He was not too excited about my "investment" in these oils. However, he has decided that it's not worth the fight, because I'm Brittany and I kinda tend to get what I want... haha! No, he heard me out and now that I am putting them to use to help our daughter and he sees that I only got them because I was thinking about the welfare of our family, he has let me off the hook. I have always wanted to be a hippie, and have always kinda been a self-proclaimed hippie, one that likes all the natural things, but also buys food that is not organic... I have always believed in the balance. A little of this, a little of that... I try when I can, and this is one way I can try to help my family in a way that is more natural. I don't believe these are miracle, cure-all oils, but I do believe that they can help us recover from some common colds, aches and pains, and things like that in a more simplified way. Cade and I have never been into taking medicine anyways, so this made sense to me. Also, I love the idea of using these oils for things like "spa night" and household cleaners. So far, I am happy with my purchase, no regrets, I'll be sure to let you know all the positives and negatives--If I find any.. ;)

I am grateful for both of these things. They have both given me a feeling of control over my life, what I'm doing with it and where I plan to take it. They have both given me a sense of overall happiness, which isn't a bad thing, in my opinion. I am not afraid to say that I am crazy, and that I don't have it all together, because, well, I don't. I am grateful for some of these things out in the world that are pro-happy and pro-self-confidence. What sorts of things have you found that have made you happy or given you that sense of self-confidence/control? OR Were you just born with it?? (I have always been so jealous of those people who just KNOW who they are and what they want...I just flutter around trying to find what it is I want haha)

Thank you so much for reading! XO Brittany

She Folded Her Arms, and It Changed My Day

Six o'clock comes super early, every morning. She doesn't hesitate to start whining the moment she wakes up. I watch her in the monitor as she raises her leg and tries to figure out how to get out of that crib. Then she is quiet for just a minute... In that quiet time, she poops. By six thirty, she has pooped and wants out of the bed, understandably. However, it's not easy dragging myself out of the bed every morning, knowing I'm walking into a poop smelling bedroom with a whining baby in her crib. Once in the living room, the diaper is changed (luckily the scream fit she used to throw is over..) and she starts whining again. I get her sippy cup filled with milk, we sit and watch cartoons as she slurps it down. Then she gets down to make the same mess she makes every day. The toys are spilled all over the floor, taken to the kitchen and dining room and down the hall. I watch her as I lay lazily on the couch. At about seven thirty she is ready to eat. I walk to the kitchen and open the pantry and fridge and stare at the food inside. "How can there be so much stuff in here and I not know what to make??" I wonder to myself. She starts crying as I shut the fridge door because she wants food NOW. My frustration escalates as I prepare her and my breakfast because her crying and tantrums continue. I give her some fruit, hoping that will settle her down, for a minute while she eats then it's back to tantrums. Hitting her head on the floor, throwing things, just making me crazy. Once breakfast is ready I take it to the table. I put Georgia in her high chair and we eat. Today, was just a little bit different. I was so incredibly frustrated with Georgia this morning as I prepared her breakfast. I give her everything, and she's standing there screaming at me! Why?? What have I done to make her think this is okay????? I just want to pull out my hair!! I walk to the dining room and place our bowls of oatmeal on the table and put Georgia in her high chair. I look at her, so mad, like "are you happy now??" And she looks at me and folds her arms. Reminding me to pray.  I can't even explain the amount of love I felt from my Heavenly Father as I too folded my arms and began to pray. Tears streaming down my face as I thanked my Heavenly Father for all that we have and for such a wonderful example that Georgia is to me.  Today isn't going to miraculously be amazing and everything will go as planned, but that little act changed my whole attitude this morning. I am just so thankful to be a mom. Georgia teaches me so much every day. I am so grateful I was trusted with this sweet child of God. I can only hope that I can be everything she needs me to be.  That I can be the mother God wants me to be. Georgia is such a sour patch kid! But I wouldn't have her any other way. Sour and sweet.